The ability to influence the people, the ability to
reach the aim in human relations are very important for you, are
not they? It seems that the president Truman used to say that management
was the art to act in a way that others did for you with pleasure
the things they did not want to do at all. Here are some secrets
of this art:
Strike while the iron is hot
We get used to realize this saying in the sense that
one has to use the moment, which appears, by itself. However we
can also bring the iron to red-hot state by ourselves.
How should we negotiate with our partner? Should it
be politeness, good form, patience?
Use the same trick as during acquaintance
with woman, do you remember? While you negotiate (let it
be just a talk with street vender), you and your partner compose
one system. Your aims are opposite. You have no special arguments
in your favour. How can you turn situation in your favour?
It is true, in ordinary state your partner has uncomplying
attitude, which you can not cradle, no one argument can reach the
aim. At first, you have to unbalance the system. To do this
you have to bring the tension into the situation. It is also desirable,
that it does not go from the theme of negotiations. The highest
art - to use indirect circumstances: maybe, to stop the partner
when he is in hurry, maybe, to surprise him by your strange behaviour
or simple to go late to the meeting. Your partner is confused, slightly
shocked, nervous? Great! The system has reached the crucial point, don't miss the moment! Now even small reason
can tip the scale in somebody's favour. If you are a boss of situation,
you will get an award.
In his book "Swim with the sharks without being eaten
alive" Harvey Mackay writes that Soviet representatives are the
masters in relation of using the time factor in order to unsinew
the enemy and to stack the opponent on his shoulders on the negotiating
table. Head of one of the West-European gas companies recalls that
in 1974 on the last evening they were in gloomy mood because of
effectless and exhausting trip to Moscow and had a dinner in "Arbat"
restaurant. Suddenly at 11.00 p.m. Mr. Osipov (Soviet representative)
came into the hall, ordered separate cabinet and right there we
finally had dealed about contract conditions at dawn.
Here is one more example from the book by Mackay,
which is just a fund of informative stories of life.
How to talk to banker
One rich German manufacturer - Herr Schwan - decided
to get the loan in the bank. He charged his bookkeeper to organize
the meeting with one banker - Herr Witman.
The banker was caused to be informed about a matter.
Without any doubt, he has the time to prepare to the negotiations,
he has the client's file in his disposal, his finances are opened
for him. The client also did not waste the time, but what could
he squeeze from the fact that the banker was fond of opera and tennis?
What could you invent being the German manufacturer?
How would you build your talking?
Here is the way chosen by Herr Schwan. He arrived
to the banker's cabinet at the time he had chosen: at 4.33 Friday.
Do not marked by the chattiness before Schwan burst into a declamation.
At first about tennis - once he took part in Wimbledon, in 1931
in the first leg. Being forgotten for a long time that match was
carefully analyzed. Then - about Opera. The clock beat 5. The time
when conscientious bankers take all the papers away from the table
and go home has come. Being known by his extreme pedantry Herr Witman
started to touch nervously "Schwan" file, lying on the table. Schwan
kept singing his song.
At ten minutes past five Herr Schwan rose, made a
glance at his watch and said that talks were very pleasant for him,
but someone waited for him in another place. Witman helped him to
put on the over-coat, but only when Shwan turned and made a step
forward to lift, the first word about the visit aim was pronounced
- and it was the banker who did it.
"It seems you have wanted to discuss the question
about any mortgage, Herr Schwan?" - said Witman.
"About mortgage?" - Swan seemed not to think about
mortgage.
Witman has started to talk about matter, that's why
he had to put forward the suggestion. He did it when they were waiting
for the lift. At the end the interest rate was set at 6,18%. And
the bank had to get at least 7%. The lending conditions were fantastic!
So, what has happened? At first, Schwan had something
to show for his preparing labor. He chose the proper bank, the proper
time and the proper banker. He knew, that Witman had two hobbies:
tennis and opera. The late time of his visit and abstract talks
were used by the manufacturer to increase the tension. Schwan watched
carefully for his partner's reaction and caught that crucial moment
when the banker lost his balance completely. Now the banker was ready to accept positive or negative
solution under the pressure of every small reason. The top of masterhood
- Schwan did not try to induce the companion to accept the solution
he needed! He realized that the banker who was aware of the visit
goal before, prepared himself for talks and was orientated the deal
would be done anyway.
Actually, Witman hoped to reach agreement exactly
today and to report about the deal to the bank authorities on the
weekly meeting held Monday morning. As column sags under the crucial
loading in this direction suddenly because of very small chip, -
then expected a deal the banker brought to the crucial state by
the client has taken off and begun the talk about the matter the
first. Schwan had the only thing to do - to pick up the fruit fell
down to his feet.
In for a penny, in for a
pound…
Once again we used to realize this saying as the guide
for action under conditions appeared by themselves. But you are
able to create such conditions for others by yourselves!
Let a man take in for a penny, accept a solution and
he is - yours!
Why that man, who has been lucky in the game does
not stop it even when he started to lose? Exactly on this basis
the cheats build their activity - they let a man to win a couple
of time, and he can't stop himself till he loses everything.
The matter is that the tension of game put a man behind
the crucial border. Now his psychics can be in one of two states
- "you need to play!" or "you don't need to play!" Let the beginner
to win they bring him for certain into the state of inspired player
(pic.1). Psychological settings are very stable under big tension,
more to say the higher is the tension, the bigger influences are
needed to change the behaviour module.
So, if you managed to "turn" a man on the state
necessary for you, then if you keep the tension on the same level,
you can change considerably initial conditions into worse direction
- anyway the client does not change his solution. If fish swallows
the bait - it swallows the hook. Anyway, continue to tense the situation
- hurry, frighten, surprise - otherwise fish comes off your hook.
Thus, street vender, having seen that the client has
decided to buy and searches for his wallet suddenly "recalls" that
it's necessary to pay up this and that. If the buyer is "ready",
if the solution has done - you can deviate from the former conditions,
most likely the client will not change his solution.
Thus, the buyer, having dealt with the vender, having
money in his hand, claims for pay off in the last moment.
Let's come once again to Harvey Mackay for an example.
He says, that there is an old trick used in auto sale and called
"Ask for Mr. Otis". The buyer comes to the salesman, who proposes
him a fantastic price for his old heap as a part-payment for a new
car and excellent conditions of its purchase. The buyer goes to
other salesmen, shops around and returns to one who proposes him
an amazing deal.
The salesman fills the contract paper. He asks the
buyer to sign it with his initials.
And just one moment, - salesman says, - financial
manager should approve the contract. I'm going call him right now.
The salesman presses the button of local phone and says: "Ask for
Mr.Otis". Of course, there is no any Mr.Otis in this firm at all.
There is financial manager, that's true, but his name
is Smith or Jones, or something like this.
"Otis" - is the name of the firm producing lift-machines,
- and this lift is going up. The financial manager appears. He asks
the salesman to go out the room with him - let the buyer to get
ripping for a while, then salesman comes back and announces that
Mr. Otis does not agree with the contract and he starts to re-make
it according to absolutely the same conditions that others venders
had proposed. You can ask me, why the buyer does not just leave
at that moment?
The reason is that he already put a lot of emotions
into this deal. He has already chosen his new car. This is the blue
car with red overcast… His wife is at the wheel, his children jump
on the seats. He has already told everybody that he was the best
in making deals. If he does not sign this contract now, he should
leave the shop and start from the beginning… The children burst
into tears… and his colleagues start laughing at him…
This is America, my friend, thank you very much, have
a good time, and here is your bill.
There is another way how this trick can be used: if
man has already decided to buy the item, he would "swallow" disproportionately
expensive supplement like covering, guarantee services and so on.
"Tsar ordered at once to pay a million to Englishmen
in money they would like to have - in silver coins or in small assignats.
Englishmen asked for silver because they have no an
eye for paper money; and just after that they have showed another
trick: they presented flea but they have not brought a flea-box:
but it is impossible to keep flea and the key without box, because
items can be lost and can thrown away in a rubbish. But the box
is made from the whole brilliant nut - even the place for flea was
gouged out in the middle. And they have not given it because as
they say it is a government one and it can not be sacrificed even
to the Tsar.
Platov went angry and that's why he says:
- What a cheat! They made a gift and got a million and it is
not enough yet! Box, - he says, - always belongs to the present.
But Tsar says:
- Leave it, please, it is not your business, don't spoil my
politics. This is their custom. - And he asks:
- How much does the nut cost, where the flea must be placed?
Englishmen have asked for five thousand in addition.
Tsar Alexander Pavlovich has said: "Pay them"…"
After N.S. Leskov, " Southpaw"
Don't argue with fool, - the difference
can not be seen
By the way, also escape the discussions with clever
persons. If man stands his ground firm, then all the efforts to
change his mind while arguing are useless - the more high-pitch
arguments are, the higher tension of talk is, the further the
border, where you should bring your partner to, in order to change
his mind, moves (pic. 1). More to say, the border moves disproportionately
sharp - small increase of discussion temperature can lead to the
considerable increase of your opponent's position stability.
There is only one way out - to put the conversation
aside, to try to defuse tension of your opponent and to come back
to your argument when everybody is calm.
The art to make peace and to make a
quarrel
You can ably put a break into monolithic rows of your
opponents if you use the managing catastrophe
parameters. If all of your enemies "eat from one pot", then
tension increases while resource is shared out - increase of "brothers"
number, exhausting of resource or increase of everybody's appetite
without any doubts bring their union to the crucial stage, when
breakdown becomes obligate. If you softly use one of the mentioned
factors, you can help to cause a quarrel without doing it directly.
Do you remember how one guy who was charged by Aunt
Polly to paint a fence, appeared under the storm of laughs of teenage
company?
As Mark Twan wroted in “Adventures of Tom Soyer” book,
Tom realized that soon other guys who were free from any duties
would come on the streets to play the games and to have a fun. For
sure, they bear different games and tricks to play on mind and everybody
would mock him as he forced to work hard while they rest. This thought
burned him from the inside like a fire. And suddenly, in this black
time of desperation, the inspiration has condescent to Tom! Exactly
the inspiration, not less - a genius thought…
Tom Soyer (and that was exactly him) managed genially
to rise common desire to work with a brush in his bullies. And since
there was only one brush, but there were many volunteers, then initially
monolith group of teenagers has proved to be the system under conditions
of hard resource hunger. And just it has happened, the system immediately
has split into several parts competed against each other. As a result
Tom Soyer not only avoided attacks, but also fulfilled his job by
other hands and also got rich, thanks to that.
As Mark Twan continued writing - To afternoon Tom
who looked like pitiful guy in the morning, has turned to become
the rich guy who literally overflew with luxury… Tom had a wonderful
and funny time among the company of neibouring fellows having nothing
to do but at the same time the lime three times covered the fence!
If lime would not finished, all boys of that town would go bankrupt.
What resource to use and how exactly to make enemy
forces to have demand for this resource - is the problem you have
to solve in each concrete situation. Here are nothing can be said
before. If you are a woman, for example, you can use your attractiveness
as a resource for "splitting up" of men's company.
The best way to run somebody down
…- is to make him to do this by himself.
The principal is the same. Not to flare up at the
least thing, wasting your energy, but without additional efforts
to tense psychics of guilty, when
even small "tut-tut" impresses him much.
The same Mackay follows this way: he writes, that
sitting in his commodious office, he calls for a guilty employer
with the help of his secretary, and she "confidentially" tells him:
"I have never seen Mr. Mackay so angry". Then Mackay makes him to
wait in a hall during half an hour.
Employer is invited to the office. He stands in front
of the table. Mackay addresses to him: "Jack, - he says, having
stand up and look at him glum, then he pointed to his chair, - please
come over here and sit down". Mackay sits another chair where employer
must be seated. "So, Jack, what would you say now, if you were on
my place?"
Oh, how they hate this chair! Since they know they
have no right to be in so high position, which boss' chair symbolizes,
they feel themselves even guiltier. In four cases from five they
judge themselves with more severity than Mackay would do it… Since
he tells nobody off, then offensive words, which impossible to forget
do not stay in his or her memory. They do all that dirty job by
themselves.
Don't forget you are also a human being
And that means nothing human is alien you. That's
why you also can be a person under control. In order to avoid this:
- first, when you are at the negotiating table, do not presume
to consider that negotiations must anyway end by signing an
agreement. The more you prepare yourself for a certain result,
the more chances your opponents have to "bring" you to their
side.
Mackay also mentions that deal conditions get worse
seldom when you leave negotiating table. He advises to be ready
to leave the table… and to be ready doing this really. You will
get the opportunity to come back, and conditions will be even better.
Second, note: the longer you are made to wait and
the more extravagant partners behave themselves, the more desires
they have to make a deal. The more you are surprised and nervous
and the more they manage to overbalance you, then the more chances
they have to do this in their favour.
Be afraid of a businessman who is late for negotiations.
If you are not heads-up, you can misinterpret his intentions, and
as result, he gains an advantage over you.
"Advice of Chicago police chief "
So, what should taxi driver do if he was brought to trial?
First, it is necessary to make the judge off the stable
state of primary "run-in" of hundred of cases:
"The judge guard called the criminals to the foot,
cried out charges and criminals, all as one! - confessed themselves
guilt…"
It is necessary to unbalance the judge, bring him
to such unstable state when even
small reason helps you to win his sympathies. How it can be done?
What is crucial point? It is the result of conflict, it is always
a confrontation, contradiction. If in
the case of competitionthere are two confronted forces,
so where is the reason of psychological crisis? Crucial moment in
psychics - is always a psychological "mistake" in human conscience:
how it can be - I'm beautiful, but he ignores me, how it can be
- client has come for a credit, and he speaks about everything but
not about his matter?!
What a "strike" can we make for a judge? Fortunately,
we have no many variants in our disposal - only three standard answers:
"Guilty", "Not guilty", or "Guilty under extenuation". But can we
create some wonderful combination from the standard set which would
put judge at a stand? Paradox, conflict - impossible combination.
The passenger invented exactly such magic phrase:
"Not guilty under extenuation!"
And what's further? Further, when the judge gets surprised,
unbalanced, - one needs with one or two phrases to win his regard.
" - People of New York City versus Vladimir Lobos!
- having reminded of me, the guard claimed, and hardly crawling,
I bring my body to the foot of the chair.
Black audience has hushabied, and in the silence I've
written their thoughts as my own, but just turned inside down, that
WHITE might have done mischief if he is here with us…
- Soliciting! - gloomy-visaged guard announced to
the judge.
- Not guilty under extenuation! - I blurted it out
and dried up, having gagged with fear…
The guard has sniffed skeptically and just in case
has put his gun right.
Figure in black long robe got moved, judge bent over
the chair and looked down upon me, twinkling his eyes rounded from
amazement.
- What has happened, Cabby? - Judge said.
- It was late to retreat and speech that passenger
from "St. Moritz" hotel taught me and which I knew by heart, has
flown from me like a champagne out of non-cooled bottle:
- Your Honour! Please, pay your attention to only
one circumstance - to the s c e n e of the crime I'm charged. It
is damned 42 Street. My cab was surrounded by a hundred of prostitutes
accosted to men. A hundred of panders molested to pedestrians calling
them to joy houses! A hundred of drug dealers proposed a wide choice
of drugs: marihuana, tablets, cocaine… But from all that wonderful
company policeman chose me: the most dangerous criminal - taxi driver
who works hard 72 hour a week… Your Honour, I ask you: where is
the justice?!
Black audience has exploded with laughter. The judge
has waved and shouted out, pouring me with his heavy, like a honey,
Jewish accent:
- Sha! Sha! Enough! Cabby would you shut up?! May
I say a word too?
I have dried up like a lamb.
Audience has died out waiting for the adjudgement…
- Criminal case number…
The judge has read aloud endless number, smacked his
lips and finally has given me the creeps, finished with:
- To declare case being covered because of corpus
delicti failure!.."
